You found it

Begin with the podcast,
BeforePlay™, and Green Flag Dating

You don't have to have it figured out. You don't have to know what you want or name what's wrong. You just have to be curious enough to stay.

Everything on this page is free. It's Kristin's way of saying: come in, look around, take what's useful. When you're ready for more, you'll know.

The work grows out of Kristin's practice in Bend, Oregon and online: erotic sovereignty, Devotional Kink, recovery from purity culture and high-control religion, and sexuality work rooted in the Wheel of Consent. She is a former Erotic Blueprint Coach. Her trauma-aware intimacy coaching lives on the main site.

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The BeforePlay™
eBook

Most people skip the conversation before sex entirely. Not because they don't care, but because they were never given a framework that felt natural, human, and actually sexy to use.

BeforePlay™ is Kristin's consent and desire negotiation protocol, distilled into a template you can use tonight. It covers what you want, what you don't want, what you're curious about, and what your body needs to feel safe enough to open.

It's the first piece of the Wilder Intimacy framework, and it's yours the moment you put your name on the list.

The BeforePlay™ eBook

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Delivered to your inbox. You'll also receive the Permission Granted email series: six letters from Kristin on desire, consent, and the long work of coming home to yourself. Unsubscribe any time.

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No spam. No packages. Just the good stuff.

What's inside
  • Desire questions to ask before arousal takes over
  • Aftercare and integration (the part most people skip)
  • Language that works for couples, new partners, ethical nonmonogamy, and kink-curious beginners
Permission Granted Podcast

The Permission Granted podcast:
real conversations, nothing watered down

Kristin talks with practitioners, partners, survivors, and seekers about the things most people only say in her coaching room. Erotic sovereignty. Religious trauma. Devotional kink. Midlife initiation. The body as holy text.

No disclaimers. No hedging. Just the conversation you've been waiting for someone to have out loud.

Episode 01

Radiant Rebuild with Beth Buchanan

Beth Buchanan · @wnourished

The conversation that started it all. Kristin and Beth on what it means to rebuild your relationship to pleasure after years of survival mode, and why the work they're building together feels like a reclamation.

Watch now → Episode 02

Embracing Your Eros with Melisa Keenan

Melisa Keenan · melisakeenan.com

The Good Girl conditioning runs deeper than most women realize. Kristin on the neuroscience of rule-following, the spiritual dimension of sexual shame, and what it actually looks and feels like to bury the performance and come home to yourself.

Watch now → Episode 03

Human Design with Rosy Crescitelli

Rosy Crescitelli · wholeheartedrosy.com

Rosy and Kristin on Human Design as a practice of deconditioning from everything you were shaped into before you knew you were being shaped. Types, strategies, and what it means to actually build trust with your own yes and no. A long conversation about living as a permission slip rather than a performance.

Watch now →
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Green Flag Dating: The Response to No
Green Flag Dating

Stop vetting for danger.
Start vetting for capacity.

Green Flag Dating is a free weekly publication from Wilder Intimacy for anyone navigating the dating world with intention, whatever the relationship structure, orientation, or experience level. It is the dating layer of the work: the moment before the intimacy conversation, before the framework, before any of it.

The premise is a single shift. Stop asking whether someone is a red flag. Start asking whether they have the capacity to do this well. Capacity to respect a no. Capacity to sit with their own shadow. Capacity to stay in the room when something gets hard. That question changes the posture. You stop auditioning. You start choosing.

Essays and named tools you can actually use while the date is happening. The Spine Test. The Response to No. Somatic vetting. Black-Belt Profile Creation.

Read the publication
Subscribe on Substack →
The Gathering

The campfire,
not the curriculum.

A monthly online gathering where Kristin brings what is alive in her right now. No agenda, no performance, no prerequisites. Just the thing she's been turning over in her own life, and a room full of people who speak the same strange language.

Low cost. Open to anyone. Announced through the newsletter first, so that's where to be if you want in.

Join the Waitlist →
Kristin's Writing

The thinking
behind the work.

BeforePlay™ is Kristin's consent and desire negotiation framework: the conversation most people skip before intimacy begins. It starts from a simple distinction: permission is what you give yourself, consent is what you give another person. Both are required for deeper pleasure.

Her Substack is where the longer, looser writing lands: heretical prose, psychological deep dives, and the pieces that don't follow any format. Start with the BeforePlay™ consent conversation.

More at beforeplay.love Read on Substack →
When you're ready

This is the doorway.

When the podcast isn't enough. When you've read everything and you're still in the same place. When you know what you know and you still can't make it move. That's when you book a session. One conversation. No packages. No prerequisites. Kristin meets you exactly where you are.

Book a Session · $333 See Upcoming Events