CULT TO KINK TM
Story of a former 'good girl'
So, how does... and WHY... does a gold-star, straight-A's, people-pleasing 'good girl' raised in a cult become an intimacy coach?
If anyone was ever less likely to be 'voted to become an intimacy coach' in their high school yearbook, it's me: a formerly-conservative religious good-girl, raised in a cult! You're coming to me for help with personal challenges and desires, so I'm willing to be transparent with you. Often it isn't just about what people KNOW, or the training they have... it's about who they ARE and their experience. While our backgrounds and journeys may be different, I want you to know me, to help you feel confident you will be safe, seen, respected, honored, and accepted by me at all times.
Trigger warning: my personal story has some potential triggers, so details are under these drop-down arrows below; dive in if you wish!
I understand that hiring a coach in the area of dating, relationships, and sexuality is tender and vulnerable stretch for many, and requires deep trust. I do this work because I believe that the areas of our greatest wounding are also the opportunities for our deepest healing, AND the areas we are most equipped and qualified to help others. I've been through the fire, friend... and come through the other side, stronger and sweeter than before... I'd love to walk with you and support you in your healing and expansion as well.
Raised in Captivity (part 1)
I was raised in an ultra-conservative and 'secret sect' known by former members as the 2x2s. We met in homes, didn't have a church building, and didn't tell anyone the name of our 'meetings.' I couldn't cut my hair, wear jewelry or makeup, and wore ankle-length skirts with nylons and dress shoes when all the other girls wore neon slouch socks and acid-washed shorts.. We didn't have a TV and hardly listened to the radio, and we pursued 'courtship' within the group for the purpose of marriage, rather than dating. No surprise, this group had it's own version of purity culture and valued virginity and chastity, but also had a massively high rate of child sexual abuse (now under ongoing investigation by the FBI); unfortunately, I did not escape unscathed. Luckily, one redeeming factor was my parents... they had a warm, loving, and reciprocal respectful relationship and I grew up seeing physical affection and warm words of tenderness between them that gave me hope of a better future.
For more information about the Two-by-Two sect, visit Wikipedia, check out the Hulu documentary "Secrets of the 2x2 Church," and listen to more detail about my lived experience in the 2x2 cult: "Anguish, Abuse & Ankle-Length Skirts" from the Mass Exodus podcast.
Bricks Without Straw (part 2)
Call me an accidental rebel, a worshipful heretic, or a black sheep... I left the church when my first child was born. And I left my 15-year marriage 9 years later, seeking freedom... breath... LIFE... outside the box. It was far more terrifying than I can describe, and hard to imagine if you haven't been raised in high-control religion that believes they are the only 'true' way and forbid divorce and remarriage under all circumstances. (If you're curious for more details, this episode of The Mass Exodus podcast tells more of the story; listen to the last 20 min for some golden nuggets about the work I do now).
It wasn't easy (understatement). I had to learn how to date in the 'modern' world without character references and family connections. Dating ONLINE??? Oh my goodness... it was a different world entirely. In the early dating process, I experienced a sexual assault that brought me to a breaking point, and I dove deep into every form of therapy and self-help I could find. I was already a birth doula and life coach, but when I found Jaiya's work on the Erotic Blueprints and the required co-certification in Accelerated Evolution mindset processing for resolving traumatic experiences, I knew I'd found the missing piece for myself, and important part of the work I would do in the future.
My desire to heal my own relationship with self-worth and worthiness, self-consciousness and, body image issues, free myself from shame, guilt, and grief, and heal sexual trauma led me on a journey that brings you here to reading my story. I longed to experience a healthy relationship with my own body and personal sexual ethics that weren't imposed upon me by others, to call in the love of my life, and to experience a transformative, healing, connective, creative, juicy sex life.
Milk & Honey: The Promised Land (part 3)
I'm now a fully expressed, in-my-body, multi-orgasmic Shapeshifter, high Kinky Energetic, and happily remarried! My own healing and awakening as an erotic being led me to pursue this work professionally and add to my coaching certifications. I am honored to be one of just 200 certified coaches worldwide who have trained under Jaiya, world renowned sexologist, in her groundbreaking work with the Erotic Blueprints. I love to help others experience the freedom, joy, and delight that comes from fully accepting and embracing ALL of ourselves. I approach this work with tenderness, humor, delight, and deep empathy.
As a Shapeshifter, I fluently speak all the Erotic Blueprints, and because of my background, have deep compassion for the 'shadows' we can experience that can block us from fulfillment and joy... and an immense passion to help other people become fully free and fulfilled.
"Sex is natural. Lovemaking is an art"-Jaia
Erotic Blueprints Breakthrough Experience
Jaiya's breakthrough video course + 6-month coaching container with Kristin
A Husband's Words
From Skeptic to Raving Fan...
“At the beginning when Kristin said ‘watch the Goop show on Netflix...’ I was skeptical. I called it ‘voodoo magic bullshit.’ My biggest challenge was my skepticism - would she ask us to do weird woo-woo or embarrassing stuff? Would I able to force my way through it, hold my tongue and not ruin this experience for my wife?
The first time we tried the A/B Game with Kristin's guidance, my wife responded positively to Energetic touch like Damon did in Episode 2 of Sex, Love & Goop... and I was like… WOAH. That’s when the hook got set for me. After being able to test it... see real evidence, I let my walls down. It was easy to trust then. I'm glad I did." - Nathan
Erotic Blueprints on Netflix
EROTIC BLUEPRINTS BREAKTHROUGH EXPERIENCE TM
The sex & pleasure education everyone deserves
Your Erotic Type is an arousal map that reveals your specific erotic language—sensual, sexual, kinky, energetic, or shapeshifter. Your Erotic Blueprint™ is your entire erotic being, and is made up of three components: your erotic blueprint type, your sexual state, and the obstacles you experience to sexual health and pleasure.
Through the Erotic Blueprints Breakthrough Course, you can discover your own language, better understand a partner’s language, and use this road map to embrace and fulfill your desires.
If you’re familiar with the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, you’ve probably learned that different people receive and experience love in different ways. Often people give affection and care through their native ‘language,’ which is great if their love languages match; most often however, we are drawn to differences, and there can be a mis-match. The same process applies to the Erotic Blueprints, developed by Jaiya, which bring new vocabulary and awareness to the idea of arousal, pleasure, and fulfillment, states, stages, and seasons of sexuality, as well as challenges and obstacles to pleasure. As a certified Erotic Blueprints coach, I help people connect to WILDER INTIMACY with themselves and their partner.
What if... there was a simple way of understanding your “native language" when it came to intimacy and pleasure? What if you were able to learn how your unique erotic superpowers, your turn-ons and strengths, unique challenges and turn-offs, and how to communicate that with your partner?
What if... you could receive and experience pleasure fully, with complete delight?
What if... you were a brilliant erotic detective, and able to decipher the Erotic Blueprint of a current or potential lover? What if you could touch them and thrill them in a way no one else ever could?
What if... you could receive and experience pleasure fully, with complete delight?
What if... you were a brilliant erotic detective, and able to decipher the Erotic Blueprint of a current or potential lover? What if you could touch them and thrill them in a way no one else ever could?
What if... you shared the same language and vocabulary, deeply understood and appreciated each other’s inherent desires, needs and turn-ons, and were able to deeply nourish each other?
What if... you could custom-blend your own unique, one-of-a-kind erotic connection???
What if... you felt deeply safe, seen, understood, and honored...AND free to be fully expressed, hiding nothing, completely unmasked, naked and unashamed?
What if... you could experience new levels of passion, adventure, satisfaction and fulfillment, and deep connection?
My dear one, IT IS POSSIBLE. Let's explore how to get you there!
Discover Your Erotic Blueprint®
How can you tell someone what you want, or feel fully nourished & satisfied, if you don't even know what you REALLY desire, or what your true nature is?The Erotic Blueprints Quiz is the FIRST STEP in discovering your innate pleasure wiring.
"Speak Pleasure Fluently" eBook - an introduction to the 5 Erotic Blueprint Types
There are a lot of stereotypes about what provides a fulfilling sex life. Sex techniques are no guarantee of orgasmic bliss. In fact, using the wrong technique on the wrong person can create turn off, shutdown and possibly even traumatic response. What I discovered is techniques don’t create lasting passion and sexual satisfaction. Sexual satisfaction is not one size fits all. WE ALL HAVE A UNIQUE EROTIC BLUEPRINT.
Wilder Intimacy Signature Coaching Offerings
NAKED & UNASHAMED TM
Body Image & Inner Critic Healing for Women
Come home to your own soul by making peace with your own relationship to your physical body. If you struggle with self-judgment, self-consciousness, or feeling connected to your physical vessel after having a baby or going through illness or surgery, this sweet, safe, and sexy container will help you:
- Make peace with the old stories & let them go
- Forgive old patterns, beliefs, and traumatic experiences
- Nourish your body, mind, and spirit
- Learn how to "feel" your own body safely
- Curate the art of "extreme laziness"
- Embrace your innate sensuality as natural, normal, healthy & safe
- Transform your inner voice from cruel critic to Best Friend
- Develop trust, acceptance, radical self-love
- Experience unconditional love for yourself
GREEN FLAG DATING TM
You Deserve Better. No more settling. Finding Love by Becoming Love.
Stop overlooking red flags, dealing with ghosts, zombies, and getting exhausted at the dating merry-go-round. This "on the ground training" program blends deeply introspective values-based self-inquiry with practical, actionable, FUN steps to help you become a magnet for epic love.
- Get clear about who you are and set a clear vision for your ideal relationship
- Live into full energetic & tangible alignment to embody your "True Core Essence"
- Create a "black-belt-level" dating profile and have FUN with online dating & meeting people in the wild
- Avoid the texting trap and actually meet people IRL
- Keep healthy boundaries along the way
- Learn how to date "NATO" (not attached to outcome)
- Navigate "getting naked again" safely & ethically
- How to resource and fuel yourself on your journey
Devotional Kink can be expressed through worshipful:
- Service (devotional action)
- Submission (devotional obedience)
- Surrender (devotional offering)
- Supplication (devotional requests)
- Sacred sexuality (devotional ritual, worship & lovemaking)
- Sacrosanct Responsibility & Ethics (devotional integrity)
DEVOTIONAL KINKTM - the Art of Spiritual D/s
Coaching for the kinky Blueprint types that aren’t into BDSM-type physical sensation play, but ARE turned on by transcendent states, psychological mind play & voluntary, cooperative power exchange relationships.
While not based in nor adheres to any religious context, the Devotional context adds a layer of spiritual significance to the D/s dynamic and exploring the Kinky Blueprint from a psychological and emotional perspective. Devotional Kink & Spiritual D/s coaching helps people develop and enhance Sacred Union based on passion, deep intimacy and knowledge of each other, shared vision and values, and the desire to embrace and even amplify the differences between them for mutual satisfaction, peace, and fulfillment.
The Art of Spiritual D/s is MULTI-DIMENSIONAL:
- The Paradox of Devotion: Surrender and Autonomy
- Spiritual Aspects: Transcendence and Shared Purpose, Vision & Values
- Psychological Dimensions: Surrender, Trust, and Growth
- Practical Manifestations: Rituals, Rules, and Communication
- Gourmet Erotic and Sexual Fulfillment: Transcendent Pleasure & Sacred Intimacy
A devotional D/s relationship offers profound opportunities for personal and spiritual transformation and growth:
- For the submissive, it can be a journey of self-discovery, where they learn to embrace their vulnerability, explore their desires without shame, and develop a deeper sense of self-acceptance and worth
- The Dominant can grow in their capacity for responsibility, empathy, mastery, and leadership, owning their own desires, and learning to guide and support their partner's journey from a place of profound integrity
Ultimately, this dynamic can empower both partners to become more authentic and the highest, most healed versions of themselves. By embracing the complexities of devotion and surrender, they can create a relationship that is both deeply fulfilling and transformative.
(C) Kristin Warnaca, 2025
Client Love
"Stop what you're doing right now and book Kristin! I can't think of a more valuable investment.
I didn't know there was so much to learn about sex until I worked with her. She taught me how to communicate what I want in the bedroom and why that's important (aka: guys can't read your mind!).
My partner immediately complimented my communication skills in the bedroom: he suddenly knew exactly how to please me, because I felt clear and empowered in asking. I didn't realize how much more elevated my experience could be! "
- Alicia
FAQs
(click the little arrow on the left to see the answer!)
How do I get started?
Let's see if we're a good coach/client match! Please fill out an application (I read each one thoroughly and choose my clients carefully), and book a complimentary 'Passionate Possibilities' call. If the application feels like a good fit, we will do a 60-minute Zoom call to identify your desires, challenges, and goals. If we're a great fit, we'll move forward with a signed coaching agreement, you'll make your initial deposit, and schedule your sessions.
Can I work with you on other intimacy/relationship/dating topics?
Yes, absolutely. I have other coaching certifications and experience, and enjoy switching gears when it's the right fit! (I am a Jedi-master at writing dating profiles and many other areas of expertise!). Please send me a message (see the link on the bottom of the homepage) so I have a preliminary idea about the type of support you're looking for, and we can do a complimentary consultation to see if I might be able to help. If I feel your needs are outside of my scope of practice, I will be happy to refer you to other expert professionals who may be a better fit.
Can we meet in person?
YES! I have office space in Bend, Oregon where I see clients 3 days a week. I do Zoom sessions from my home office on other days. Please note: ALL initial consultations are done by Zoom or telephone.
Do you offer smaller packages/shorter timeframes?
I do! Each client is evaluated on an individual basis, and our length of time working together varies by your need. I do offer smaller packages for short-term, extremely targeted goals, but please keep in mind that intimacy, attachment, and relationship work require commitment and consistency and often need 4-6 months or longer. I do offer workshops, immersive retreats, and VIP weekends for people looking for impactful change in a shorter time frame.
Do you offer hands-on touch?
No.
I do not participate in any erotic or sexual way with clients and do not offer hands-on touch. All client sessions are fully clothed, and I do not watch my clients engaging sexually with partners or in self pleasure. If you are looking for sexological bodywork, somatic stress release, scar tissue remediation, or a professional Dominatrix, I can refer you to professionals who include these services in their scope of work.
Do you work with individuals who are partnered but need to do the work solo?
Yes! I work with individuals, partnered people, and singles. When in partnership, both parties are not required to participate in coaching in order to make significant changes in a relationship; I do support people who are partnered who wish or need to do the work individually.
Can I do this work if I am single, celibate, or have never had a partner?
Absolutely! It is wonderful to discover who we are as erotic beings while single. You can do this work while being completely celibate or even if you have never had a sexual partner.
Does your coaching scope also include polyamory and ethical non-monogamy?
Yes. I support people in all relationship configurations, and have coaching expertise in ENM & Poly dynamics..
I'm religious/spiritual/formerly religious. Will you coach me with respect to my beliefs?
Yes, absolutely. I tailor my coaching to honor your traditions and ethics. My clients have included Orthodox and Modern Jews, Latter-Day Saints, Christians, Catholics and Muslims, as well as ex-vangelicals, people healing from purity culture, in the midst of spiritual deconstruction, Shamans, Shamanistas and Pagans, as well as people with no spiritual or religious practices or background.
Do you work with international folks / people outside of Central Oregon?
Yes! I have clients as far away as South Africa and Tel Aviv, and all over the USA. I am willing to open different scheduling hours that work for our differing timezones; please send an inquiry and we'll see if we can make it work!
How I can help
Step 1:
We will set a clear vision for your 'magic wand' outcome... meaning... if you had a magic wand and all the power in the world, what does your ideal relationship with yourself, your body, your sexuality, and your relationship look like? What do you most wish to accomplish and experience, and why? What difference would that make in your life?
Step 2:
Step 2:
We begin gently by regulating your nervous system and building safety and trust (the first step of the Orgasmic Arc), and introducing nourishing self-care and self-pleasure practices to help you connect to yourself. (Remember, "unconditional love from yourself, for yourself, first and always..". this is where Wilder Intimacy 'between the sheets' begins). I approach this work with tenderness, full consent, and the mantras:
"Always go at the pace of your slowest part"
"What can we do to make this even 1% more comfortable? More pleasurable?"
"Gradually & gently expand your comfort zone, while staying within your safety limits & personal values"
Step 3:
I devise a personal plan with you based upon your challenges AND directly focussed on your goals. We'll work together weekly or every-other-week to build the mindset and skills to help you make your dreams a reality. This isn't long-term psychotherapy that can last years; you'll probably work with me for ~3-6 months, with tangible results you'll be able to enjoy and celebrate forever!
Words of appreciation...
"Next level breakthrough. This was crazy amazing. I had no idea of my own capabilities. Allowing pleasure and new ways of thinking and being is awesome!
After working with Kristin, something as simple as holding hands was different. We are more aware of and able to meet each other's specific needs. It got us thinking and talking to each other differently about our relationship, our conversations and the way that we can turn each other on. This is life-changing work!
- Toby & Gwen
"I enjoy dirty talk a LOT more than I expected!
Now that we know our blueprints and the words and phrases that work for us, I feel like the real me rather than trying to imitate a porn star.
Verbal foreplay and sexy talk is now really HOT and FUN instead of awkward & embarrassing."
- Sara
"What HAVEN'T you taught me (lol). The biggest thing... I'm wildly aware now that I possess a sexual energy and power that I had no idea I had a connection to (LITERALLY NO IDEA).
And now I'm aware of it in every interaction. I'm also now aware that I have more kink in me. Like, that was super repressed but SUPER HOT. I could sing your praises all day long."
- Kristy
The Men are Saying...
"I used to live in a lot of fear and self-consciousness: muted, stunted. I was not the man I wanted to be.
You helped me get my balls back!
Now I can live from my power and my heart fully.... no more shame."
- Shawn
"Working with Kristin, I discovered that I don’t actually NEED to be partnered in order to be fullfilled;I can be responsible for listening, loving, and taking care of myself in my self-pleasure. Discovering my erotic blueprint has been life altering! I now understand clearly what makes my body feel good, turns me on and what doesn’t work for me.
Now I have access to ever expanding pleasure in my life, and more intimacy with myself than I ever could have imagined."
-Sam
"While I would have never described our 20 year-marriage as in danger per se, there were deep rooted issues. I was apprehensive about getting help with such a personal issue, but Kristin honored our values without ever making us feel wrong about what we believe in or what we desired; an impressive balance.
Food, rent, and working with Kristin...these are NO BRAINERS."
- Daniel
Am I the Coach for You?
Some people love salted caramel and dark chocolate. For others Swedish Fish and Skittles are their thing (nothing wrong with either).
Let’s find out if I’m your flavor and you’re mine with a complimentary "Passionate Possibilities" consultation!
The scheduling link will include a detailed application; please fill it out as thoroughly as possible in advance of our call (I choose my clients carefully).
Please DO schedule an appointment and fill out the application if:
🌹 You are in a healthy relationship
🌹You have already done a lot of 'work' on yourself but neglected your sexuality
🌹You are a Yes to healing and expansion
🌹You are ready to learn new ways of thinking, believing, and 'being' when it comes to your eroticism, pleasure & connection
🌹You are a Yes to your sexual wholeness, reclamation, confidence, & joy!
🌹 You are in a healthy relationship
🌹 You want to go from 'roommates with rings' to true lovership
🌹 You are single and want to call in epic love & conscious partnership
🌹 You want to get your mojo back after divorce or heartbreak
Please do NOT schedule an appointment or fill out this form if…
- The love is gone but you haven’t left / the relationship is already over
- You are looking for an instant fix (intimacy work usually takes 4-6 months)
- You are not ready to make a financial or time investment in your healing and sexuality
- You are looking for sexological bodywork or hands-on somatic coaching
- You experienced recent infidelity
- You are looking for sexological bodywork or hands-on somatic coaching
- You experienced recent infidelity
- You or your partner are actively abusing or addicted to substances
- Your partnership includes domestic abuse
- You aren’t committed to personal growth
- Your partnership includes domestic abuse
- You aren’t committed to personal growth
If the 1st list sounds like you, hurray! Please book an appointment with me using the link below! We will enjoy a delicious 60 minute exploratory Zoom video call, and become 'erotic detectives' to explore what you most desire, crave, and what may be missing in your love & intimate life. We will take a preliminary look at what is holding you back, and identify your desires and goals to spark passionate satisfaction and enhance your life moving forward. (If you'll be doing this work with your partner, please have them present on our call, and have them fill out their own individual intake form.)
If we mutually feel a full-body, all in "YES" to working together after our call, I will create a custom coaching proposal based on our discussion. If we are not a fit, I will give you some personalized recommendations for next steps or referrals to other expert providers that may be a better fit for your needs.
Warmly,
-Kristin
Podcast & Blog Highlights
Lovenotes & Interviews
