Hello! this is Kristin's husband Eric here again, breaking the 4th wall and letting you in to catch another glimpse of my own experience of living this life with Kristin.
Wilder Intimacy is the name of this business - but for us, this is not an just idea that she sells to her coaching clients. Wilder Intimacy is the lived, daily, breath-to-breath essence of our marriage. It’s not a style or strategy, but the way we move through each day, through joy and grief, tenderness and truth. Wilder Intimacy is how we’ve chosen to love one another—fully, honestly, without taming or turning away from the raw, sacred, sometimes overwhelming beauty of real connection.
We don’t believe there’s only one path to this kind of authentic presence. We know that people arrive here through many doors—through fucking and making love, through psychedelics or scripture, through silence, through wilderness, through prayer, through heartbreak. Whether your language for the holy is Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Pagan, or scientific, whether you pray with words or with your body, we believe the same thread runs through them all: a longing to be known, to be seen, to be joined in something larger than ourselves. That longing is the current we ride.
And so I want to offer you a glimpse—not of a perfect marriage, but of a real one. One that is spiritual not because of what we believe, but because of how we show up. One that is sacred not because of ritual objects, but because of the reverence we bring to each other’s truth.
The Wilderness Within Us
When I say “wilder,” I don’t mean chaotic. I don’t mean reckless. I mean untamed in the most elemental way—alive, awake, and unfiltered. I mean the kind of intimacy where nothing essential is hidden, where we stop performing and start listening. It’s the feeling of stepping barefoot into a forest at dusk, the light shifting, the air electric, and something ancient in you says, “This is real.” That’s the intimacy we choose.
In this wildness, there is no script. There is no checklist. There’s only presence. A willingness to stay with what’s alive. That might mean laughter. It might mean tears. It might mean silence, or passion, or a hard conversation we’d rather avoid. But we stay. We return. We trust that the connection is deep enough to hold the full spectrum of who we are.
The Binary Star System
We sometimes describe our partnership as a binary star system. Not two halves, not codependent satellites, but two whole beings, luminous in our own right, drawn together by a gravitational pull we never needed to name. We revolve in relationship to one another, casting light, offering heat, tracking through the shared sky of our becoming. And we mean Becoming as a verb. For us, marriage is a commitment to evolve together.
That resonance was there from the start. But what we’ve built since then is not effortless—it’s devotional. Many years ago, Kristin coined the term Devotional Kink to describe what she was looking for, and she uses that term to describe the life we live now. We built it slowly, with intention. Before there was sex, there was stillness. Before there was play, there was presence. We shared a bed for weeks fully clothed, listening to each other breathe. We crafted vision, language, shared meaning. We lit the sacred fire and sat beside it, letting it warm our bones.
We each came to the relationship carrying years of inner work, therapy, introspection, and healing. We came having learned how to meet our own shadows, how to take responsibility for our own triggers, how to name when something is ours—not our partner’s to fix or carry. That gave us a foundation of trust that wasn’t based on blind faith, but on earned clarity.
We are both sober, not out of dogma, but out of devotion to presence. Sobriety, for us, is a spiritual practice of full availability. We want to be here for each other, with all senses awake. We want to rawdog life, as the kids say - and we especially want to be fully present for Love - for each other.
We’ve built a shared sense of meaning, drawing from many traditions—Jungian psychology, myth, mysticism, science, chaos theory, Buddhism, and the truths of nature we’ve learned through experience, sometimes even mixed with remnants of her Christian upbringing. None of these are ultimate in themselves. They are different dialects for something universal: the soul’s longing to connect with what is real.
We are, by nature, different. Kristin is firelight, changeable, intuitive, electric. I am rooted, present, focused, attuned. Where she flows, I hold. Where I burn steady, she ignites the air. This dance between masculine and feminine, between doing and being, creates a rhythm of co-regulation. When one of us trembles, the other steadies. When one of us is flooded, the other offers shore.
And through it all, we remain fascinated. We don’t assume we already know each other. We remain curious. Kristin’s complexity never stops unfolding—and I never stop being stunned by her radiance.
The Sacred in the Everyday
Our Wilder Intimacy lives not just in the big moments, but in the small daily rituals we rarely talk about.
Every day, we share details, we debrief, we bounce ideas off of each other. Every day we ask each other for advice. Every night, we fall asleep in skin-to-skin contact. This isn’t about sexuality—it’s about attunement. Our bodies synchronize before our words do. We track each other closely—noticing the shifts in energy, mood, rhythm. If one of us sighs differently, the other hears it like a chord change in a beloved song.
We trust each other entirely. That trust isn’t naïve. It’s been forged in truth-telling, mistake-making, and repair. We trust because we’ve seen each other at our worst, and chosen to stay.
We don’t divide our lives into “yours” and “mine.” If something matters to one of us, it matters to both. Not out of obligation, but out of love. That’s what devotion is: not just admiration or desire, but joining. Choosing to let the other’s well-being become inseparable from your own.
And we speak everything. There is nothing off limits. Not because we force vulnerability, but because the silence becomes unbearable. We’d rather speak an awkward truth than preserve a comfortable illusion. That’s the kind of honesty this intimacy demands—and rewards.
Meeting the Edges
Wilder Intimacy is not a shelter from pain. It’s a practice of meeting pain with open eyes and open hands.
We’ve walked through jealousy, through fear, through grief. We’ve had to find our footing again and again in the terrain where love expands but also stretches us into new shapes.
We use tools—psychological, spiritual, practical, and ritual. We check when we’re falling into old stories. We track our nervous systems. We pause when the waters get choppy. We know that our partnership is a container big enough to hold it all—if we meet each other with humility.
Devotion as Power Source
One of the most potent ways our intimacy expresses itself is through our erotic life. It is not separate from our emotional or spiritual connection—it is an expression of it. And at the heart of that expression is devotion.
In our dynamic, Kristin often surrenders in the realm of Devotional Kink. She finds fulfillment in service, in obedience, in letting herself soften completely. She has been a dutiful Christian wife in her past, the executive assistant to a CEO, a birth Doula holding space for hundreds of babies to enter the world, a Master Coach training and certifying other life coaches, and a single mother rebuilding a life on her own. She is the most brilliant and capable woman I have ever known. And she is truly an equal partner to me now, but sometimes she wants to just let go. She can. She does, I am here.
This is not a one-sided devotion. As the Dominant in this dance, I am just as devoted. I carry just as much weight—if not, sometimes, more. Devotional Kink, The way we live it, is not just a two-way street, it is the full expression of the Binary Star System star. It is perfect polarity. My devotion is to her nervous system, her well-being, her limits, her growth, her truth. I attune to her constantly. I never take for granted the gift of her surrender. I don’t wield power over her—I carry power for her. I create the container in which she can let go.
This is not about roles or performance. It’s about essence. It’s about two people finding a ritualized language for their deepest truths—and offering those truths to one another, over and over again.
The Erotic as a Language of Aliveness
We explore our desires with openness and care. We use frameworks like the Erotic Blueprints not as dogma, but as dialogue. Kristin is a shapeshifter, fluent in every erotic dialect. I bring a more grounded presence, steady and strong. Together, we create something neither of us could create alone.
Even moments of potential activation can become sacred. We’ve learned to transform triggers into opportunities for curiosity. That alchemy is not easy. But it is possible. And when it lands, it is thrilling.
We also honor the primal. I am reclaiming the part of me that is unapologetically masculine, animal, wild. Kristin does not flinch from this. She celebrates it. She meets me in it. She calls it forward.
A Path, Not a Pinnacle
This intimacy is not a destination. It’s a path. Some days we walk it with grace. Other days we crawl. But we never leave it. We never stop choosing each other.
We are beginning to name what we’ve learned, to craft language and tools for others who feel the call to a wilder way of loving. Not to give them a model—but to let them know it’s possible.
Intimacy can be sacred. It can be fierce. It can be playful and holy and messy and ecstatic.
And it can be real.
The Truth We Know
Here is what we know:
Two people can be whole and also belong to one another completely.
Trust can be total without being controlling.
Love can be expansive without being diluted.
Devotion can be mutual, embodied, and erotic.
And the wilderness of real intimacy is not something to fear—it is something to walk into together.
This is our Wilder Intimacy.
A marriage beyond the map.
A daily act of sacred devotion.
A practice of living love fully, fiercely, and free.
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