The pleasure gap isn’t just about orgasms. It’s about the broader experience of sex, the level of desire, comfort, and emotional connection that make intimacy enjoyable. Many women report feeling disconnected from their own pleasure, thanks to years of internalized shame, a lack of understanding of their own bodies, and partners who were never taught how to ask (or care) about their needs. Meanwhile, men can struggle with performance anxiety, feeling like their worth is tied to how well they "deliver" in bed rather than how much mutual pleasure is actually happening.
At Wilder Intimacy, the focus is on making academic research about sex and relationships accessible and applicable in our daily lives. A study by Dr. Lori Brotto and Dr. Maureen Yule highlights the persistent "pleasure gap" in heterosexual partnerships, where men are statistically more likely to orgasm than women. This disparity is attributed not to biological differences but rather to outdated sexual narratives that prioritize penetration over mutual pleasure, often leaving women’s needs unmet.
The research points out that cultural conditioning and inadequate sex education contribute to these imbalances, as women frequently learn to consider their desires secondary to their male partners. Meanwhile, men may feel pressured to focus on performance rather than fostering connection and mutual satisfaction. The study emphasizes the need for a paradigm shift in how society understands and practices sexual intimacy, moving beyond formulaic approaches to embrace a more holistic view of pleasure that values open communication and emotional connection.
Acknowledging that sexual fulfillment involves biological, psychological, and social factors, the researchers argue for a departure from restrictive sexual scripts and encourage individuals to prioritize pleasure over performance. Effective communication and the courage to redefine what "normal" looks like in the bedroom are vital steps toward closing the pleasure gap. By embracing these ideas, partners can enhance their intimacy, fostering an environment where both feel heard, desired, and satisfied.
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with Juliette Krannenburg of The Scrumptious Woman Podcast
Description: Welcome to "The Scrumptious Woman" podcast! In this episode, we have the pleasure of hosting the incredible Kristin Wilder Warnaca, a self-described pleasure Maven and transformative coach. Join us as we explore Kristin's journey from a conservative upbringing to becoming a beacon of love and self-discovery. Juliette welcomes Kristin, an inspiring figure in the world of self-discovery and transformation. Kristin's unique journey from a conservative background to embracing her true self is a testament to the power of authenticity and self-love.
Key Takeaways:
- Take Your Time: Kristin emphasizes the importance of giving oneself the time and space to grow and evolve. Taking time to know oneself fully is a vital step in the journey towards authentic connections.
- Radical Honesty: Being transparent about deal breakers and non-negotiables sets the foundation for genuine connections. Knowing what truly matters to you allows for meaningful and fulfilling relationships to blossom.
- Vulnerability is Key: Trusting the process of love requires vulnerability. Opening up and sharing your authentic self fosters deeper connections and allows for true intimacy to flourish.
- Presence Over Pace: Remember to stay present in the moment. Trust your feelings and listen to your intuition. Being present helps distinguish genuine connections from fleeting encounters.
- Marriage 2.0: Embrace the idea that second chances, or in this case, "Marriage 2.0," offer the opportunity for a richer, wiser, and more joyful experience. Learn from past experiences and savor the beauty of new beginnings.
- Green Flag Dating: Kristin offers a program to navigate the complexities of dating with ease and fun. It's a guide to save time, effort, and heartache on the path to meaningful connections.
In this episode, Kristin's wisdom and warmth shine through, reminding us all that embracing our true selves leads to the most authentic and fulfilling relationships. Tune in and let the journey towards self-discovery and love inspire you!
With Lindsey Elmore, host of The Lindsey Elmore Show
Show Notes: topics covered in this episode:
- Healthy Relationship Indicators
- Personal Growth and Accountability
- Commitment and Evolving Together
- Green Flags & Red Flags in Relationships
- Career Support and Sacrifice
- Gender Roles in Partnership
- Sacred Masculine and Feminine Dynamics
- Emotional Safety and Trust
- Overcoming Relationship Challenges
- Growth and Mutual Support
With Nick Chontos, Apex Masculinity Podcast
Description: love, sex & relationship coach Kristin Wilder Warnaca shares on the topics of reigniting intimacy, curiosity, passion, communicatio, playfulness and so much more. If things have gotten dry, boring and uneventful for you, not only in the bedroom but in your intimate relationship as a whole, you need to check out this episode.
Don't be Shy, be a Sexual Legend!
with Tristan Noel LeClair, host of the"What Not to Do" podcast
Description:
OUR SEXIEST EPISODE YET! Tristan is joined by eroticism coach and expert Kristin Wilder Warnaca as they discuss learning your sexual blueprint (& why this is so freaking important!), getting naked after divorce, and being fearless regarding your authentic sexual, sensual and kinky desires!
I'm so excited to share this one with you guys!! I hope you learn as much as I did! Kristin is a wealth of knowledge and a total Rockstar! You'll realize THERE'S SO MUCH LEFT TO LEARN ABOUT YOURSELF AND UNCOVER!!"
