Updates from Wilder Intimacy Coaching

If you have spent your life contorting yourself to fit inside rules, roles, or identities that feel too small for your soul—you have arrived at the right place and I am thrilled to Permission Granted, a wilder intimacy podcast.

Through my work at Wilder Intimacy Coaching, I guide people through the complex terrains of sex, intimacy, devotional kink, religious trauma recovery, and somatic healing. But whether we are talking about the bedroom, the boardroom, or the altar, the core struggle is often the same: we are exhausted from performing who we were taught to be.

I created this podcast to be an antidote to hustle culture and the endless "self-improvement" treadmill. We aren’t here to fix you—because you aren’t broken. We are here to explore what happens when you stop asking for approval and start listening to the truth of your own body.

For our debut episode, I am thrilled to sit down with my beloved friend and collaborator, Beth Buchanan of Well Nourished.

While my work often deals with the architecture of desire and the nervous system, Beth is a master of the biology that fuels it. We cannot have a "wilder" life—one full of deep intimacy, spiritual connection, and erotic aliveness—if our bodies are running on fumes.

If you are a woman navigating the wild ride of perimenopause, or simply feeling "fried" by the demands of modern life, this conversation is the exhale you’ve been waiting for.

This podcast is a space for the conversations we’ve been told are "too much." In future episodes, we will travel deeper into the realms of erotic sovereignty, the alchemy of shame, recovering from high-control religion, and the spiritual power of pleasure.

But today, we start with the foundation: giving yourself permission to nourish your body during the "zone of chaos."

[Listen to  Episode 01 Here] 

It’s time to loosen the grip of shame and come home to yourself.

# Excerpt

Most of us were raised in a silence so deafening it drowned out our own heartbeats—taught to perform pleasure rather than speak it, to carry shame in our bodies rather than sovereignty. The myth persists that talking about sex "kills the mood," but the somatic truth is far more liberating: **uncertainty is the enemy of arousal**, and a nervous system scanning for unknown threats cannot surrender to the electric hum of real desire. Beforeplay™ is the framework that dissolves this friction—a deliberate, eyes-open conversation that happens *before* the clothes come off, transforming the guessing game of intimacy into high-fidelity connection. By naming your meaning, context, boundaries, desires, health status, and fears with clarity and care, you move from the anxiety of the unknown into the deep waters where true eroticism can flourish. This is not performance; this is the somatic architecture of safety that allows the erotic to thrive.

What makes intimacy truly satisfying? It’s not just about how often you have sex—but how touch shows up in daily life. This research spotlight dives into the power of affectionate and erotic connection, revealing how different patterns of physical intimacy shape relationship satisfaction. Whether you’re cuddling on the couch or exploring your Erotic Blueprint, you’ll discover how small gestures can fuel deep connection.

The blog post explores how non-monogamous relationships can foster feelings of compersion, a positive emotional response characterized by joy at a partner’s fulfillment with others, as opposed to the traditionally perceived jealousy. Compersion is positioned as the emotional opposite of jealousy, fostering trust and satisfaction instead of insecurity and anxiety. The discussion highlights the psychological theories that support compersion and its benefits to emotional well-being, enhanced communication, and overall relationship satisfaction, emphasizing that feelings of compersion and jealousy can coexist and be managed intentionally.

In contrasting compersion with jealousy, the article delves into the challenges and strategies necessary for cultivating a compersion mindset. While jealousy, often linked to attachment anxiety and insecurity, can undermine emotional well-being by triggering stress and conflict, compersion allows individuals to view their partner’s happiness as an opportunity for emotional and personal growth. The practice of compersion is linked to increased relationship satisfaction, reduced anxiety and insecurity, and improved emotional resilience through fostering open communication and emotional transparency.

The blog post underscores that compersion can promote personal growth by encouraging emotional resilience, enhanced self-worth, and empathy. Intentional strategies such as self-reflection, structured communication tools like the Wheel of Consent, and professional relationship coaching are recommended to overcome challenges such as social conditioning and attachment insecurities. These strategies aid individuals in embracing compersion, leading to more harmonious and fulfilling relationships within non-monogamous dynamics and beyond.